Omaha Baby Lady's Blog

Happy birthday Princess Sparkle-butt

omahababylady — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 19:20:44 +0000

Becca the cake monster

Happy birthday my darling girl…One year ago today you burst into this world full of life and wonder and have spent everyday since being the most amazing you. It makes me laugh now to think how worried I was that you would never you arrive! You see you were ‘due’ two weeks earlier but you decided you weren’t quite ready yet, Finally around 3 in the afternoon on the day after Independence day nonetheless you finally decided to start some contractions that this time would not fizzle out. Around 10 that night it got intense enough that I needed your daddy to help me. Then at 3:17 am you entered the world, less than an hour after we arrived at the hospital. I’ll tell you what girl, once you made up your mind you were not slowing down for anything. In honor of your birthday we watched the video of your first days yesterday. Wow I forgot what a little peanut you were. Even as a newborn you had the biggest brightest eyes I’d ever seen. You well full of personality instantly. When most newborns want to sit and snuggle you wanted to be held up so you could see the world. You loved being a part of my Bradley classes and really were a lot of fun to have as my living demonstration doll LOL. You have been the most fun and perfect addition to this family. I was so worried about how we would manage three children so close in age yet you made it easy. You taught me how to be a better mom. This whole year I never once wished for you to hurry up and do this or that. I knew just like your birth you would choose when to start walking and talking and everything else. You don’t always do it on my timeline. I was prepared to nurse you without introducing solid foods well into 9 months, but around 7 months you decided you were ready for solids and there was no denying you! It is the same with most things in your life. When you decide you want something you will go after it with all your might. You are now walking and even talking a bit. You love your daddy more than anyone else on the planet with your brothers coming in a close second. You and the boys will just sit and giggle at each other, it is quite adorable. Today I caught you chasing after Nate while Alex was chasing you. The three of you were laughing so hard I can’t believe you were even able to run at all. I love you so much Princess spakle butt <3thanks for letting me be your mom.

Seven year itch?

omahababylady — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 18:34:59 +0000

My husband and I are celebrating our seventh wedding anniversary tomorrow with dinner out tonight. How on earth have seven years passed? I am certain I am still that not yet even 25 years old, with no clue what life had in store for me, pledging my life to my boyfriend of three years.

What twists and turns have our lives taken since then. That first year of marriage was so much harder than I ever believed it would be. Dave was in a job that was miserable for him and in return me. Shortly after our first anniversary my husband quit his job and enrolled in truck driving school and was on the road 5-6 days of the week. Most people ask if that was hard, but in all honesty it was wonderful. He was so much happier when he was home than he had been before. It took some time but our marriage began to flourish again. About two years after that we decided it was time to bring a baby into the mix. Dave found a local job and we started trying. The process wasn’t easy and eventually we received assistance from a fertility specialist. A couple months later we learned we were finally pregnant…with twins!

My pregnancy was relatively easy and complication free and in a week shy of our fourth wedding anniversary our twin boys were born. Once again that first year was tremendously hard. People tell you how tough the first year with any baby is, but you never really believe them. Add two babies in with two parents who had no clue HOW to be parents are you are truly at a loss. I don’t think I could every accurately describe how hard that year was, especially those first few weeks. I have often said I would have divorced him if I would have had the energy and I am only mostly kidding.

We eventually found our groove. The children started sleeping more, we started sleeping more. We stopped trying to follow all the ‘rules’ and just trusted our inner voices as to how to parent. We started to grow closer again.

Shortly after our fifth anniversary we discovered we were expecting again. We prepared for this pregnancy signifcantly differently than we did our first. We took intensive childbirth preparation classes together that really focused on his role as my partner in the birth process. We grew so much stronger and closer during this pregnancy than we ever had been before. Our sixth anniversary was spent timing contractions (which fizzled out around 11 pm) and we welcomed our daughter about a week later. Her birth changed our marriage significantly for the better. He had been ‘that guy’ for me that night. He was my unwavering support. While we had a doula who was also amazingly helpful, he was my rock. I knew I truly couldn’t have done it without him and as a result our marriage flourished.

This past year has truly been the best year of our marriage yet. Stressful at times (buying a new house, adjusting to a family of 5) but instead of working against eachother we tune into eachother and work together, just as we did to bring Becca into this world. We are truly partners and friends. Has the passion waned a bit from seven years ago? Of course it has. Spending the day covered in babies can make one feel a little touched out, but I wouldn’t trade any of it.

I believe there are seasons in a marriage. Sometimes its about passion, sometimes its about survival, sometimes friendship, sometimes coexisting. Right now our season is parenting with love for our children and for eachother. We don’t often have dates just the two of us, however this is by choice. My husband works a great deal and when he is off he wants nothing more than to spend time with our entire family. As he once said to me ‘If we can’t do it as a family what is the point’

I know there is a running joke about the seven year itch in a marriage. The time when people get restless and you are most at risk of an affair. I suppose I am just crazy but I am more in love and committed to my husband than I was on our wedding day. Seeing him as the father to our children and my partner in life makes me know that we can overcome anything life throws at us.

So David, I just want to say, thanks for the ride! I’m gonna renew my season pass for another year!

Happy birthday boys!

omahababylady — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 18:00:40 +0000

Last week we celebrated our twin boys thrid birthday. I cannot believe how much our lives have changed since that day. I remember so vivdly sitting in my hospital room holding one boy in each of my arms totally in awe of how amazing my life had just become.

Look at you now. Alex you are my monkey boy. You are a source of constant annoyance to your brother. Lately at nights Nate has taken to sleeping on the floor since while he is trying to prepare to go to sleep you can help but crawl in his bed to bug him. I think it because you just love him so much you want to play with him all the time. You have always been my water baby. Even at 6 months old you loved the water more than anyone I’d ever known. You are now finally old enough to take big kid swimming lessons and you and truly in heaven. A Olympic swimmer someday I am certain! You love to play and play and play and you love your Uncle Timmy more than just about anyone else on the planet. I think its cuz he teaches you all those mean tricks you play on Nate . You have a remarkable sweet side, although you don’t like to always show it. Sometimes you love nothing more than a ‘BIG HUG’ and a kiss. You love stickers and painting and generally just have a slow paced-take in the world attitude. You are typically the one who gets done with dinner last, since you are taking in the world while you eat. This is true when we are walking places too. There is no hurrying you! You go right at Alex pace.

Nate you are a snuggler. You love nothing more than sitting on someone’s lap and reading a story. You are a big fan of ‘itsy bitsy spider’ right now and can sing it all, but you prefere I do. You insist that the monsters all live at your friend Alyssa’s house (and Alyssa agrees!). You also love swimming lessons. You can be particular and insistant on this cup or that one, but othertimes you are as easy going as can be. You love going swimming as well, and are especially found of the butterfly slide.

You are both doing so great learning to go potty like big boys. You sleep in your big boys beds and only cry now when your brother has done something or another to you. You are both more amazing as big brothers than I could have ever dreamed you would be. You look after Becca and help her to learn new things. You have a love for her that I never expected and it warms my heart so much. You are both almost always so sweet and kind with her. I can never get a treat for just one of you…you will always insist on one for brother and Becca. You are both such good helpers and really remind me to enjoy life sometimes. You love your big hugs and often insist ‘I NEED a kiss’ you always NEED it, not just want. You love your dogs. Potter is Alex’s dog while Lily belongs to Nate (Becca your dog is at Grammie’s house) You love to play outside. Nate you once even got out of the gate and were playing on the neighbors playset!

You love Superman and Batman and choo-choo trains. You love bouncing and running and playing.

You continually give me the greatest gift in the world of getting to live life through your eyes. Your mommy and daddy couldn’t love you more.

Three years ago today…

omahababylady — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 03:07:09 +0000

I became a mother. I could go on and on about the joy and amazing things that happened that day, but instead I think I will just repost my birth story here in a few. First I wanted to free type some thoughts I’ve had over the past year about my boys’ birth. I have gone through feelings of anger, frustration, sadness and helplessness when I remember their first few days. You see from the moment we learned it was twins we were instantly labeled high risk and told that very few twin pregnancies result in a vaginal birth so we might as well start to prepare for our cesarean now. To be really honest a vaginal birth scared me. I’d seen television. I’d watched movies. I’d heard plenty of horror stories. I knew that birth was not a fun experience and that I wanted nothing to do with it. To be honest hearing that I would ‘get’ to have a cesarean sounded pretty darn good to me! Throughout my pregnancy I was practically overjoyed when I learned that my boys remained breech and that meant I ‘had’ to have a cesarean. At my 34 week ultrasound both boys remained breech so we went ahead and scheduled it for 4 weeks later. I remember being so annoyed that it was going to be 38 weeks and 3 days instead of the 38 weeks my doc promised me! How naive I was! Anyway we went into the hospital at 38 weeks and 3 days to begin the preparation for my surgery. I remember our families giving us love and support as we prepared to walk into the operating room. I remember the first time I really felt fear about the process–they made my husband wait in the hall while I was in this big scary operating room all by myself. For some reason that I still am not aware of he wasn’t allowed to be present while I got my spinal. I remember a strong smell of burning when David walked back into the room. Then I remember him holding my hand while we waited for the doctor to bring my boys into this world. I remember their cries, and watching my husband rush over to see them. He took pictures for me to see. I remember hearing the nurses all assure me that my boys were healthy 6 pounds 7 ounces and 6 pounds 2 ounces. I was able to briefly touch one of them before my husband escorted them down the hall and into the nursery where they were given their baths and left under the heat lamps…alone. I still get so upset when I remember them wheeling my bed past the nursery and Alex was just lying there crying all alone. My mom told me he was hysterical the entire time he lay there. I hate that they were alone and so upset in those first few hours. I hated that our families all were able to really see them before I was able to. I hate that I was stuck in recovery when my babies needed me. It was over an hour before I got back to my room. The boys were still under the warmers so I couldn’t have them yet. Heaven forbid we actually let my body heat warm them up you know. Time passed and they finally brought my children into the room. I held them for a few minutes then began letting anxious grandparents, aunts and uncles hold them. I finally tried to breastfeed for the first time about 3-4 hours after their birth. They were very sleepy during this time and had little interest in nursing. This set us up for more of a battle to teach them how to nurse than I would have liked, but we did overcome it and I nursed them for 18 months (three months into my next pregnancy). I couldn’t believe how much I loved those little boys. The next morning my OB sent the nurses in to get my boys for their circumcisions. We had done some research on the topic and found some study in Africa stating that circumcision was linked to lower HIV rates and I thought that was reason enough to do it. I mean, if it could potentially save their life later why not (I’ve since learned much more on the topic but that’s another post) so they were gone for a while. When they came back Alex’s face was covered in scratches. It seemed one of his hands had broken free during the circumcision. This was upsetting but once again I figured it was one of those necessary things for a boy so I didn’t even have guilt about it…then. We eventually went home and things evolved from there. We learned that babies sleep better with parents than in cribs, wearing twin is easier than letting them cry in the stroller and breastfeeding twins wasn’t really that hard. We evolved into the parents we were meant to be. The learning curve was sharp and the first few months were crazy hard.

As we’ve grown and learned I’ve found many regrets about those early days. The biggest of these are having a scheduled cesarean and allowing the boys to be circumcised. Of course I now wish I’d birthed them myself but If we had at the very least waited for labor to start on its own at least they would have been more ready for the world. I really wish I had insisted on that. I also hate that when they were brand new and needed me the most I allowed a doctor to harm them. This just kills me.

My boys have grown into amazing people. Our parenting has certainly compensated for many of our poor choices yet I can’t help but wonder what they would have been like had we given them their very best beginnings.

To check or not to check

omahababylady — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 18:46:28 +0000

In my class on Saturday we were discussing concerns and fears about childbirth. One couple mentioned they were concerned about knowing when to leave for the hospital. They have around an hour’s drive to get to the hospital they have chosen. If they get there too soon they are subject to longer billable labor room times, more medical interventions and labor slowing down as a result of the too early arrival. If they go too late they are suject to having to go to another hospital where they are not going to be with their chosen physician or even a baby born in an unexpected location! We talked through things to look for to know when time is getting closer and later I emailed them to really emphasis the emotional signposts of labor. It was mentioned that perhaps it would be a good idea to have a doula with some training in how to check cervixes come out and check the couple before leaving. This was mentioned as a possible idea as to know if they are a really low number to stay home and if they are a higher number to go.

I sat and pondered this suggestion for most of the rest of the day. We talk a lot in class about cervical checks. What they measure and how useful that information is. We talk a great deal about minimizing unnecessary checks especially if you are at a higher risk of infection in a situation such as a ruptured membranes (water broken). We talk a lot about whether or not it is a good idea to depend on these measurements.We’ve all heard dozens of stories about women who were a 2 and an hour later their child was born. What if this happened to this woman? What if the emotional signposts were urging her to go, but the numbers were telling her to stay?

So what do you think? Taking out any legal issues of having someone do a cervical check on you at home (not feeling like hitting that murky field today!) If you were in this situation what would you do? Cervical check before leaving? If not what advice would you give them on when they should go?