My husband and I are celebrating our seventh wedding anniversary tomorrow with dinner out tonight. How on earth have seven years passed? I am certain I am still that not yet even 25 years old, with no clue what life had in store for me, pledging my life to my boyfriend of three years.
What twists and turns have our lives taken since then. That first year of marriage was so much harder than I ever believed it would be. Dave was in a job that was miserable for him and in return me. Shortly after our first anniversary my husband quit his job and enrolled in truck driving school and was on the road 5-6 days of the week. Most people ask if that was hard, but in all honesty it was wonderful. He was so much happier when he was home than he had been before. It took some time but our marriage began to flourish again. About two years after that we decided it was time to bring a baby into the mix. Dave found a local job and we started trying. The process wasn’t easy and eventually we received assistance from a fertility specialist. A couple months later we learned we were finally pregnant…with twins!
My pregnancy was relatively easy and complication free and in a week shy of our fourth wedding anniversary our twin boys were born. Once again that first year was tremendously hard. People tell you how tough the first year with any baby is, but you never really believe them. Add two babies in with two parents who had no clue HOW to be parents are you are truly at a loss. I don’t think I could every accurately describe how hard that year was, especially those first few weeks. I have often said I would have divorced him if I would have had the energy and I am only mostly kidding.
We eventually found our groove. The children started sleeping more, we started sleeping more. We stopped trying to follow all the ‘rules’ and just trusted our inner voices as to how to parent. We started to grow closer again.
Shortly after our fifth anniversary we discovered we were expecting again. We prepared for this pregnancy signifcantly differently than we did our first. We took intensive childbirth preparation classes together that really focused on his role as my partner in the birth process. We grew so much stronger and closer during this pregnancy than we ever had been before. Our sixth anniversary was spent timing contractions (which fizzled out around 11 pm) and we welcomed our daughter about a week later. Her birth changed our marriage significantly for the better. He had been ‘that guy’ for me that night. He was my unwavering support. While we had a doula who was also amazingly helpful, he was my rock. I knew I truly couldn’t have done it without him and as a result our marriage flourished.
This past year has truly been the best year of our marriage yet. Stressful at times (buying a new house, adjusting to a family of 5) but instead of working against eachother we tune into eachother and work together, just as we did to bring Becca into this world. We are truly partners and friends. Has the passion waned a bit from seven years ago? Of course it has. Spending the day covered in babies can make one feel a little touched out, but I wouldn’t trade any of it.
I believe there are seasons in a marriage. Sometimes its about passion, sometimes its about survival, sometimes friendship, sometimes coexisting. Right now our season is parenting with love for our children and for eachother. We don’t often have dates just the two of us, however this is by choice. My husband works a great deal and when he is off he wants nothing more than to spend time with our entire family. As he once said to me ‘If we can’t do it as a family what is the point’
I know there is a running joke about the seven year itch in a marriage. The time when people get restless and you are most at risk of an affair. I suppose I am just crazy but I am more in love and committed to my husband than I was on our wedding day. Seeing him as the father to our children and my partner in life makes me know that we can overcome anything life throws at us.
So David, I just want to say, thanks for the ride! I’m gonna renew my season pass for another year!
hooray! congratulations to you both!
Love it!!!